From San Diego Hospice, Bereavement Department
TOOLS FOR COPING
Be gentle with your feelings and thought processes. Avoid self judgment.
Do not put “should have” on yourself.
Find a supportive person (s) you can trust. Be vulnerable to share your
pain and humble enough to accept support.
Give yourself time for healing. Grief cannot be rushed. It is a slow, sure,
unpredictable process of healing.
Know that the overwhelming feelings you have now will lessen with time.
Maintain as “regular a schedule as possible.
Avoid unrealistic expectations or goals of yourself or those that others put on you. Learn to say “NO!
Be aware of your body’s need for good nutrition and massive doses of restful relaxation.
Surround yourself with life, plants, animals, friends, special music etc…
Release tension, anger, sorrow and frustration by: crying alone or with someone; writing a letter to your loved one, yourself, the universe or God; taking a walk or a nap; drawing how you feel; making a scrapbook of photos or memorabilia , keeping a journal or diary, etc…
Forgive yourself and others.
Prepare for change, new interests, new friends, solitude, and growth.
Remember: Grief is a spiral of feelings, thoughts, seasons and experiences. It is not a straight line with a beginning and ending. The process of grief is healing the pain of loss and keeping the treasured memories and love within your heart. It is learning to live in the present with hope for the future.