Again, as in How Can I Help?, this is a list of ways to help someone in grief. It is from our perspective, so it is not perfect for everyone, but it at least provides a starting point for those in the very delicate position of helping someone in deep grief.
What Would Grieving Parents Ask of the World
Let us cry out. Our pain is based on real loss.
Let us feel grief for as long as it takes.
Listen and allow yourself to be moved.
Show us you can stand beside us in the depth of our loss.
Bear the deep silence with us.
Open your arms. Hold us until we can breathe again.
Encourage us to discover what helps us heal and ease the pain.
Be real with us don’t just say religious slogans, dogma or advice that makes you more comfortable. Ask us what comforts us.
Validate our pain and our right to feel it even if you don’t understand.
Allow us time to discover who we are in the wake of our loss.
Be patient with our process.
Let us know you remember our children.
Talk to us about our children when we’d like.
Say our children’s name as often .