The Pain

The Pain

The Pain of the Longing for your physical body
The part of you that died
Is totally baffled by the part of me that is reaching past the physical
To stay connected to the continuation of your spirit

The pain is real. It is legitimate.
I will always miss you in your body.
You should always be here in any moment I am here
And even beyond my departure.
But that is only longing and fantasy now.

But there is this part
That is challenging me to still believe in you
In us
In life
Beyond the physical plane
It’s confusing to my rational mind
It is hard to hold on to
Yet is persists
Maybe it is you, Jamie, saying “Mommy I’m here, don’t give up, we are together and will be forever.”

Maybe it’s you who keeps that possibility alive in me
Another affirmation that you lived and always a question if you died


Copyright Elene Bratton 2003

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