How does a mom who once had a son
Who loved her so much
Whom she loved so much
With beautiful curly hair and big bright eyes
Now have a son whom she can’t see
And whom she can’t feel and whom she can’t touch
How does she make a relationship
With this new son
How does she keep her heart open to mothering him
What she wants the most she can never have
The son with the curly hair and the big bright eyes
To watch that son grow up
Some say that she might still be able to feel his presence
And although it is not enough
It is all she has
She wants to take it
She wants to be open to that
How does she have a relationship with a son
That can no longer be felt with the five senses
But relies on this on this other sense
That is so unknown and so foreign
And not readily available to humans
They say he’s happy and he still feels us
That there is no separation- on his side
But we here- five sensed beings
Feel such loss and pain and unknowingness
Is he really there?
Can we ever feel him again?
Is it enough?
It has to be
It’s all we have
We’ve lost our curly haired one
With the big bright eyes


August 4, 2002
Copyright 2002 Elene Bratton

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