That this idea of both/and
Has been given as a gift to me
Given freely from a special man, 
who too knew the same agonizing journey toward healing, 

If I can admit to myself
that anything of value
could ever come from the profoundly 
life anguishing and life altering grief
That is the loss of a child is, 
my child Jamie Morgan’s loss is to me
If I could admit that, even just to myself
I would talk about the shift from either/or
To both/and

Not 
either good or bad
either sad or happy
either pain or joy
either alive or dead
either heartbroken or whole
either shattered or healed
either love or hate
either bitter or forgiveness

If I were able to say
That some lesson
Some expansion of mind and heart were possible
That this idea of both/and

But
both good and bad
both sad and happy
both pain and joy
both alive and dead
both heartbroken and healed
both shattered and healed
both love and hate
both bitter and forgiven
live side by side

That this idea of both/and
Has been given as a gift to me
Given freely from a special man, 
who too knew the same agonizing journey toward healing, 

If I could admit that such a gift could come 
in the midst of such a journey 
Then I would say that the heart wrenching healing
of such a deep loss
Always taking space within me, 
lives forever in the vastly dichotomous world
Where there is only both/and
Never either/or 

In Honor of Ken Druck, master teacher of a grief illiterate world

By Jamie’s Mom
Elene Bratton
Copyright 1/20/2019