Category Archives: Blog

Anny by Elene Bratton

 Anny, I went to your funeral today. A funeral of a person I don’t even know. A 28-year-old passed away just a few days before she would be 29. My son would have been 28 this year, but he passed away a month before sixth birthday. You guys might have known each other had he been allowed to grow up. If you had known each other, would he have influenced you not to have died a few days before your 29th birthday? Sounds like you had a beautiful life. And a lot of great influences. I know your dad and your grandma on your dad’s side. But I knew very few people at your service. I didn’t want to hear that God had plans for you, and this is all as it was supposed to be. Nobody’s supposed to die a few days before their 29th birthday, no one’s supposed to die with a 9-year-old who’s counting on them. No one’s supposed to die from fentanyl overdose or a car crash or childhood disease.

No one’s supposed to sit in a funeral for their baby girl.

It’s just not right. Nothing will ever make it right.

 A son growing up without his mother. My dad growing up growing old without his daughter and uncle’s cousins, friends. Left to find and carry on your legacy. All of us left with huge holes in our hearts. That can ever be filled. It’s like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with an eye dropper.  

But and still the only way to honor you is to carry on, maybe in that carrying on we’ll find solace, we’ll find ❤️ We’ll find reason to carry on.

© Elene Bratton 2024

Jamie’s Joy: Healing Grief, Creating Legacy, Celebrating Life now available!

Buy Book on Amazon

Jamie’s Joy: Honoring Grief, Creating Legacy, Celebrating Life offers a raw, honest, and heartfelt account of the most agonizing, painful, and life-altering loss—that of a child. Ms. Bratton shares the intimate details of her process upon losing her precious son, Jamie. She shows us how our “grief illiterate” society makes an anguished experience even more painful through its lack of support for the bereaved and, perhaps worse, by making the bereavement process seem shameful and unhealthy. According to the author, the common belief that we need to “move on with our lives” and leave our lost loves in the past does not work. Ms. Bratton learned to rethink most of her past beliefs about God, people, and the nature of life to survive and heal with faith.

Jamie’s Joy offers candid ways the bereaved can shift their thoughts to adapt to the new reality of such a loss and eventually regain belief in the goodness of life. The mission of this book is to offer you Ms. Bratton’s stark and intriguing insights—not as a direction, but as something to consider if you are on your path of loss or have ever needed to help someone else who is. This book was created to provide you with resources and supportive guides to use, as needed.

Buy Book on Amazon

20 Years

Over the past 20 years
I’ve been blue
Drank a lot of beers
Shed a bucket of tears
Spent many days
Missing you.

Over the past 20 years
I’ve written 1200 poems
spent most of my time
Alone
Went through
Thought no
Threw away
800 poems
Spent time thinking
Things through
Thought about courage
And missed you.

Over the past 20 years
I got on a plane twice
to go across the U.S.
then back again
And that was way back when
That was 20 years ago.

Over the past 20 years
I’ve owned 7 different cars
All one at a time
Had lots of days to opine
7,305 of them
Stretched over time
All those days and days
A long foggy haze.

Over the past 20 years
2 decades
I’ve had 8 separate residences
The Padres have played
3,137 regular season games
The weather has gone hot to cold
The waves build then dip
the clouds float and whip
Mountains look lazily on
I stand in the rain
& nothing has been the same.

by Jamie’s Uncle April 24, 2022

© David McNeeley,2022

twenty years

pictures fade
memories blur
time pulses forward.

grief moves 
and changes
rises and falls.
love endures.

your presence 
weaves itself 
throughout this
long and fleeting life.

© Mychael McNeeley April 24, 2022
for Jamie Morgan (May 24, 1996- April 24, 2002)

Autumn’s Change~ a poem by Shari Maclean-Merten

The trees,
once dressed in
silky green,
change for
the cold.

Now donning
crispy auburn,
rust, crimson,
and gold.

Some have
shed all colors
standing naked
and bare.

Others still
hang on
needing more time
to prepare.

Caterpillars hibernate
some even
cocoon,
readying for the
winter months
approaching soon.

And all the while
in this
deep autumnal grief,
there’s profound beauty
in this
seasonal release.

With forest’s breath
shallow and slow,
life seems to
wilt away.

Take comfort
in this ebb and flow,
for nothing
stays the same.

As seasons pass,
all once-dying things
find new life in spring,
when all of life
emerges new
with buds and sprouts and wings.

Transformation masked as death
it’s really life anew.
Even for our
loved ones
the laws of physics hold true.

Memories of you,
once painful
and thorny to share,
now bring comfort
as I see you, feel you
everywhere.

Like you,
the leaves
and caterpillars,
certainly aren’t
gone.

They
like you,
have merely transformed
but, still,
they live on.


©2021 Shari McLean-Merten
shared with permission for
~Bill McLean (10/22/1941-11/16/2018)
~Julie McLean Schroeder (11/13/1963-7/6/2020)


A New Connection: Selah Carefarm, Sedona, Arizona

I recently watched the series “The Me You Can’t See.” It is a wonderful documentary exploring mental illness and healing from the perspectives of people from various backgrounds and places around the world.

I was happy to learn, through the series, about a place just outside Sedona Arizona, Selah Carefarm, where grieving parents can go to, among other things, spend time with rescued animals. The benefit is for both the humans and the non-humans, as many of the other animals there also have been in traumatic situations prior to arriving at Selah.

After completing the documentary, I reached out to the director and founder, Joanne Cacciatore, who appeared in the series. I really didn’t even know whether I would hear back from her, but was pleasantly surprised when she wrote right back. As it turns out, we have quite a bit in common. Like me, Joanne lost her child, Cheyenne, suddenly and at a very young age, and has also developed a deeper connection with other animals from within a place of grief. I was reminded of an interview I did, “I Don’t Eat My Friends” with Vegan Danielle, which relates to my own connections with other animals born from grief and love and my relationship with Jamie.

I hope to visit Selah in the future. It seems like a magical and healing place. I will also be adding a link in our Grief Support section. Thank you to Joanne and all the staff at Selah Carefarm for your tremendous support and compassion for all animals, human and other, for your expansive circle of care, for seeing a need and for filling that need. I am inspired and touched by what you do.

© 2021 Mychael McNeeley

25

May 24, 2021

Dear Jamie,

Today is your 25th birthday. Is that something to celebrate? Or is it time to grieve more since you have not been here for over 19 years?

Something that your mom and I have talked about is the way so many things are not simply “either/or,” but are instead “both/and.” This is one of those times for me. So yes, I am both (celebrating, appreciating, grateful, full of love) and (grieving, feeling loss, and a little mournful.)

Truthfully, though, my focus today has been leaning a little more toward that celebration side of things. I am so appreciating your presence in my life, both in that warm and affectionate body you had, but also in this bodiless form you have been in for so long.

A few things I am feeling grateful for today:

~ Sydney, your kindergarten girlfriend, who has become my close friend and “daughter-in-law,” and who stopped by this morning with vegan donuts and a beautiful handwritten note and laughter for the house and so much love and vibrance.

~a touching poem sent from my brother this morning.

~the love of my sweet wife, Debbie, and the laughter of my son, Liam- they brighten and add meaning to my life daily.

~contact from a few faraway friends today. I’m not sure if they would want or need name-mention here, but you know who you are. I love you and thank you.

~the incredible gifts of folks who helped when life was at its darkest. I’ve been thinking of Ken Druck, and the folks from The Compassionate Friends groups, and the Hospice folks who set up camps and classes for those in grief, and for Karl Anthony and Jean Lagorio, and Blair Tabor, and Julie Kyker, and for so many others who reached into our world of grief to offer so many things. There are too many to name here, from Adults of Unity friends to counselors to psychiatrists to ministers and musicians. I have been deeply blessed by a whole clan and crew of amazing humans surrounding me in my life.

~an absolutely beautiful day filled with love and abundance and great food and the Pacific Ocean.

~and last, but not least, upcoming bean, rice & guacamole burritos for dinner! I have eaten them in your honor for the past twenty of your birthdays. You did love a good bean burrito, and so do I!

This is really just a partial list. Thank you for all you taught me, all you continue to teach me, and all the love we continue to share, in whatever form we take. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet son.

I love you forever, beautiful boy. i mo chroí go deo

© 2021 Mychael McNeeley

2018 Season of Giving

Jamie’s Joy Presents- 2018 Season of Giving
 

Jamie’s Joy is teaming up with Build A Miracle to make a new house into a home by providing all the interior furnishings and surprising the family with this gift.
There are two dates and many ways to help the Bortelli family (see photos and moving letter below). You can venture into Tijuana with Jamie’s Joy on either or both Feb 17 2018 (to work with the group and get to know the family.  We will be mixing the concrete for the floor and hammering nails on those days) and April 14 2018 for painting and the furniture
Passports are not necessary- a birth certificate and ID is good enough so, NO excuses.

The Bortelli Family

The Bortelli’s Current Home

 

 

 

 

All transport (from San Ysidro), supplies to work and lunch are included for $25 per adult (to help defray the costs).

If you would rather or also give some dinero to help pay for the furniture Jamie’s Joy will be providing for the family that is indeed welcomed. Our goal is to raise $3000. for all the home furnishings and nice touches to turn their newly built house into a home. (see their current home below and go to Build A Miracle website for before and after photos).

To send your tax-deductible donation made payable to Jamie’s Joy/SDF address to:
San Diego Foundation, 2508 Historic Decatur Road#200, San Diego, California 92106

To Donate By Credit Card

Call 619-235-2300 and they can take the donation by phone. Make sure to tell them it is for Jamie’s Joy.
If you need more information or already know you need to join us…. Call (619) 282-2553 and we will get back to you to answer all your questions.   And thanks, you for your support.

More about the family

Guadalupe (31) and is deaf and mute. She is also very hard working. Sergio (35) sells ice cream and earns about $60 US/week. They have lived in TJ for 35 years. They have 2 kids. The kids are Josefina (7) and Blanca (5).

They have been participating in our program (through Build a Miracle) for a while.  They are working to build a retaining wall on their property before we build them a home.  We are giving them the materials because they would not be able to afford to buy them.

                                      

 

 

 

 

~A Toast To 21~ Jamie’s Joy 2017 Family Fun & Fundraising Event

beautifulboyWe hope you’ll be able to attend this year’s Jamie’s Joy Fundraiser: A Toast to 21! This blog post contains all the info you will need to do that or to support Jamie’s Joy even if you can’t attend.

For 2017, we are focused on programs that help San Diego’s homeless teens get off the streets. We found a great program with Urban Street Angels (USA), which began with feeding youth who were on the streets and evolved into now providing an overnight shelter, transitional shelter, and employment training. Through their own business, 8West hopes to open a year-round permanent shelter for these most vulnerable youth.

Are you aware that 3,000 youth sleep on our streets on any given night here in San Diego? Many of them left to escape abusive homes only to find themselves in more peril. Let’s help support efforts to get these youth the chance to lead productive lives.

Family Fun and Fund Raising Event (for kids of all ages)

LOCATION

The Irenic — 3090 Polk Ave, San Diego, CA 92104
The Irenic is a very cool, historic indoor and outdoor venue where there is plenty of room for those who want to listen to music and for those who want to eat, chat, play and of course bid on our awesome silent auction.

PARKING is free in lot a few blocks away from the event or on street. You might have to walk a short distance but there are plenty of spaces to park. You may drop off passengers at the venue lot before you park. Volunteers will be there to guide you. Thank you for honoring this request.

THE PROGRAM

We are honored to have several dignitaries present and addressing the gathering including The voices of the teens of Urban Street Angels telling their stories of tragedy to get to triumph. Be Uplifted. Be Inspired. Check out Urban Street Angels website and Urban Street Angels on Facebook.

  • Jamie’s Joy PowerPoint
    Highlighting what we’ve done over our 15 years as an organization and what our future holds.
  • Music
    “Hop Folk” style music with Shea Freedom – find him on Facebook and 
 YouTube
  • Food, Drinks, Fun Sweets and Treats
    We will be serving fun foods catered by The Irenic as well as food from some locals such as Panera Bread, Chipotle, and Native Foods Cafe, “EAT-LIVE-BE HAPPY, with a fresh and organic mix of salads, sandwiches, fruit trays, cheeses, hors d’oeuvres and much more. We’ll have plenty of tempting sweet treats for our taste buds and Starbucks will give us quality coffee (hot or iced) to wash it all down. Plus an assortment of other drinks. Very YUMMY!!!
  • The Silent Auction
    Besides celebrating Jamie and the good cause, we will have the very popular annual Silent Auction!!!!!!!!! With loads of restaurants, shops, goods and services, theme park adventures, and more to bid on you will get a great deal on all your favorite stuff.
  • Arts and crafts (for all ages)
    Face painting, button making, photos, make your own souvenir cup with photo and other forms of arts and crafts and self-expression.
  • Raffle prizes
  • 50/50 Opportunity Drawing 
    You keep half, we keep half of whatever is collected on the $1 ticket during the event (only).
    PRICING: *suggested donation
  • Chair massage, psychic readings, educational booth and much, much, more to give you an evening of great fun for all. 

THE SILENT AUCTION

This year’s Silent Auction promises to have even more great deals than last year. Donations for the silent auction are coming in daily and already include:

  • Disneyland, Knotts, Seaworld, Zoo, Wild Animal Park , theater & Movies
  • Massage, Acupuncture, & Chiropractic care
  • Tax prep, computer repair, hair coiffure, nail salon, cooking lessons, art
  • Restaurant, department store & grocery store gift certificates
  • Yard work, auto services, handyman, personal trainer
  • Gift baskets of all kinds
    *Items based on requests subject to change 

Ticket Pricing- Suggested Donation

All-Inclusive *enJOY-able packet

Music, Dancing, and other entertainment,
• Meal w/drink, dessert & coffee
• Art and other activities for kids (of all ages)
• 1 chance drawing ticket (not raffle ticket below) & Silent auction bid #
• 1 FUN ticket for each activity &other stuff offered
(face painting, button, balloons, massage chair, slushy, and more)
You can buy extra meals, drinks, desserts, activities, etc. if one of each is not enough
$ 35 suggested donation

For the Love of Jamie’s Joy, for those who want to support the cause but can’t attend.

Prize Drawing Only 1 ticket for $10 or 3 for $25
(multiple prizes- and you do not have to be present to win)
Day of event: $45./per person suggested donation

Family and Group Pricing Available as follows:

  • Buy 5 tickets get the 6th one free
  • KIDS age 6 and under: free admission
  • KIDS between 7-13: $20 suggested donation
  • Table of 10: $300 suggested donation
  • No one is turned away

You can also sponsor someone to come by buying a ticket and donating it back or giving it away. This is a great way to show support and allow someone to attend who might not otherwise be able to go.

Call 619-282-2553 if you have any questions.Thank you!

Tickets on will call to be picked up at the event.

We will have many items to taste, try, browse, and hopefully buy so bring your wallets and have a great family day while supporting many great causes. We can take cash, checks, and credit cards at the event. There is something for everyone in this fun-filled event for the whole family.
If you can’t attend: Of course some of you want to support the cause but can’t attend the event. In that case, do we have an offer for you! You can buy raffle tickets: 1 for $10 or 3 for $25 for a chance to win valuable prizes and services.
Get your raffle tickets
Mail check or money order made payable to
Jamie’s Joy Memorial Fund c/o Elene Bratton 4324 Manzanita Drive San Diego, California 92105
Your name & e-mail will be placed on the back of the ticket and held for the day of the event and you will be e-mailed that day when you win!!!

 

PARKING OPTIONS

  • North Park Garage: 3829 29th Street, .4 miles away.  Accepts Visa, Master Card, AMEX, and Discover.  This is a multi-level garage. $5 for 4 hours. 
  • Parking in Old Mill Restaurant: 3949 Ohio St, San Diego, CA 92104, 0.3 miles away. $5 for 4 hours.  
  • Next to Queen Bee: 3925 Ohio St, San Diego, CA 92104, 0.3 miles away. $3 an hour.
  • Chase Bank parking lot: 3921 30th St, 0.3 miles away.  0-2 hours is $5, and 2-9 hours is $10.
  • Autozone: 4005 30th St, San Diego, CA 92104, 0.3.  $3 an hour. 
 

Groups Jamie’s Joy Supports Each Year

In addition to the primary group we are benefitting Reality Changers, each year we also:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!