The Fullness Of Your Grief

no matter what
as you’re feeling it
it’s size is smaller
the way of the full grief
is death
and you breathe on.
it soaks in
it hides
in your body.
I hear it
as it trails off
after your voice.
it has changed
your direction.
it has made
the way of
your soul
fuzzy and clear
the fullness of
your grief
it wails
like a fire horn
louder then
softer then
rising loud
and shrill.
the fullness of your grief
over spills
onto me.
I cannot deny
although I too
hide from it’s all.
I too
do not die.
I breathe on.
while you
breathe on too.
and in the tiniest spot
in your brain
there it dwells.
the fullness of the grief
knocks you to the floor
at exhausted hands
clenched hands
hands of gold,
this child was deeply touched.
this child was loud
and full of industry
this child
your son was full of pride.
this child was huge
completely filled
all those little holes.
and there was complete.
and now
the mound of huge
fullness of your
completely vulnerable
real, solid grief
fluxes like plastic bags submerged
below water
of a polluted river
as the tides go in
and out
in and out
and are calm
as if
they didn’t care at all.

-november 27, 2003

copyright David McNeeley 2003

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