Empty Spaces

Jamie
Jamie Morgan
Jamie Morgan Mychael
Jamie Morgan Mychael Bratton
Jamie Morgan Mychael Bratton-McNeeley
can’t put you all together
in my head
your words, I cling to them
I cling, I call
“Jamie Morgan! Jamie Morgan!”
and all that comes
are empty tears
5 years 11 months wasn’t nearly
enough
my son Ari Justin he celebrates
he likes water
like you Jamie boy
he now waters the Jamie Tree
knows your picture but not
your body, you Jamie
Jamie Morgan
I miss you, I love you
I need you
I think about making T-shirts
with your famous quotes
I put your pictures
on my wall
I call your Dad and talk
in between sentences
exists empty spaces where
you used to talk
about Sponge Bob
it’s difficult little Jamie,
Buddha boy, it’s difficult
for me to experience life
as terrible or cruel
but I am tangled
furrowed, unscrewed
I empty & frustrate
wanting to bang unmercilessly
on the unreachable, inpenetrable
door of god
I want to plead for your revisit
I want to quiet the trivial
complaints, all the unnecessary
jumble of noise
filling my head
dig you back up from the past
when your arms warmly wrapped
where you warmed meaning
for Daddy & Mommy
& me-
Jamie
Jamie Morgan Mychael
Jamie Morgan! Jamie Morgan!
Jamie Morgan!

-written October 10, 2002

Copyright 2002 David McNeeley

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